Texas Governor begs for federal money after threatening to secede

It only took Republican Governor of Texas Rick Perry 13 days to make himself look like a complete moron after threatening to secede from the United States.  Speculation of his idiocy occurred immediately after his statements, but we weren’t sure exactly which form the hypocrisy would embody until today.

Rick Perry will have to import all those hair metal CDs if Texas secedes. There will also be tariffs levied on wheat, sugar, corn, apples, oranges, bananas, carrots, lettuce, beer, wine, Tamiflu, and everything else that doesn't grow in the middle of a fucking desert. Have fun with that.

Today, Perry begged the federal government for funds to help with a potential outbreak of swine flu in Texas.  Three cases have been confirmed in the Lone Star state.

So Texas thinks that it can survive being its own country, but then freaks the fuck out when it gets three cases of an easily treated strain of the flu?  How the fuck are they going to deal with 100,000 drug-dealing soldiers that will converge on their “country” the second they secede?

Texans, for the love of all that is good in this world, vote your damn governor out and get over the secession business.

RWP Rating: Bizarre

Georgia threatens to secede, dismantle United States

Whatever happened to the patriotism of the right wing?  Only love your country when you’re in power?  The Georgia Senate passed a measure on April 1 that says that if a bill is passed banning assault rifles, then Georgia has the right to supersede federal law, effectively seceding from the national government.

You may want to stock up on peaches before they get duty taxed.

Senate Bill 632 says that the federal government has no jurisdiction in Georgia except for crimes involving piracy, treason, and slavery.   They may want to rethink that treason bit.   The bill dictates that if the state determines that a federal law exceeds the reach of the national government, the state maintains the right to secede from the Union.   Bill 632 passed with a whopping 43-1 vote.

You may already know my stance on this one.  Go ahead, Georgia.  With your crumbling schools and $2 billion deficit, how do you think you’ll fare without the United States government?  Once again, stupid posturing from lawmakers at the state level to attempt to appease Becktards everywhere.

RWP Rating: Bizarre

Full Story: AJC

Texas Governor threatens to secede from US during Tea Party protest

Republican Texas Governor Rick Perry threatened to secede from the United States during a Tea Party protest in Austin.  Amid Texas flag-waving, protesters chanted “Secede!  Secede!”

Lone Star State may get lonlier.

Perry is attending three Tea Party protests today.  He contends that the federal government is spending too much and blah blah blah.  The juice comes in the following quote:

There’s a lot of different scenarios. We’ve got a great union. There’s absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we’re a pretty independent lot to boot.

This would make time #2 that Texas attempted to secede from the union.  During the Civil War, Texas seceded, but returned to the union after the North won.

Go for it Texas.  Let’s see how quickly the drug cartels run the streets of El Paso.

RWP Rating: Bizarre

Full Story: Huffington Post