Posts Tagged ‘Tax Cuts’

The Top 8 Dumbest Things about the Republican Party

May 1, 2009

This feature is part one of a two-part series centered on the two major political parties in the United States.  For The 8 Dumbest Things about the Democratic Party, click here.

Is the Republican party going to be ok?

Is the Republican party going to be ok?

8.  Republicans believe that The War on Drugs can be solved if we throw everyone into prison.

Republicans get to take credit for the first recorded usage of the term “War on Drugs.”  It was used by Richard Nixon in 1969 as a way to fire up the base of the party against the counter-culture hippies that despised the Vietnam War.

Thanks to the War on Drugs, our prisons are overfilled.  The cost is so high to run some of these prisons that they have to be sold to private companies.  The legislature of California actually considered selling San Quentin prison this year because of the terrible financial shape that the state is in.

And drug cartels love the illegality of drugs more than Republicans do.  Drug demand in the United States will continue and the cartels increasingly find clever ways of evading the DEA.  In fact, cartels are now building semi-submergable vessels that can avoid RADAR and infra-red in Costa Rica.  They pack these boats with up to seven tons of cocaine and park it on a deserted beach in the United States. If they can get seven tons of cocaine to the coast of the United States without being detected, they can get seven tons of anything into our country.

Legalize drugs.  Pull the rug out from under the black market.  Levy taxes on the drugs and use that money to educate kids and help addicts get help.  This is exactly what happened during prohibition.  Legalizing drugs will help to stop the violence and the kidnappings in Mexico and in the southwest.

7.  Republicans demonize higher education.

From discounting professors in their “ivory towers” to laughing in the face of modern economic theory, Republicans love to rally their base on the premise of their shared mediocrity.  Ann Coulter believes that American teachers are “inculcating students in the precepts of the Socialist Party of America—as understood by retarded people.” (link)

There are intellectuals in the party, but you’ll find few conservatives that know them by name.  For every David Brooks, there is a Carrie Prejean.  For every George Will, there is a Joe the Plumber.

This isn’t to say that there are plenty of idiots in the Democratic Party as well.  The difference is that Janeane Garafalo doesn’t get microphone time at the Democratic Convention, while Joe the Plumber, a moron, is viewed as some everyman harbinger of truth in the Republican Party.  The problem with this outlook is that it eventually permeates into the politicians themselves.  The Palin phenomenon.  A folksy former sportscaster that bounced around from college to college without any sense of history or moder political theory is voted into the governorship of Alaska.  Same thing happened with Michelle Bachmann.

The hard right tarnishes the image of the Republican Party just like the Taliban tarnishes the image of Islam.

6.  Republicans believe that corporations are more trustworthy than the government.

Let’s get this out of the way quickly.  The government has done some shitty thingsBut they have also done plenty of good things.   Let’s look at the current financial crisis as a microcosm for the shittyness of government versus the shittyness of corporations.

The government allowed for corporations to create the derivatives market as well as offer subprime mortgages to people that couldn’t afford them.  That’s shitty.

The corporations took these allowances and had a field day.  Not only did they offer subprimes to the people that couldn’t pay them, but they bundled the mortgages into a security and bet on the outcome of the security.

Johnny thinks Group A of subprime mortgage holders will only pay back 40% of the loan while Philp believes that Group A will pay back 80%.  Johnny decides to bet $32,000 on the outcome even though he only has $1,000 in the bank.  Philip bets $28,000 even though he only has $900.  Group A only pays back 40%.  Johnny wins.  Now how the fuck is Philip supposed to pay him?

5.  Republicans believe that the government doesn’t belong in your pocketbook, but it does belong in your ovaries and in your bedroom.

It seems that every time the Republican party is asked about fiscal policy, the only two words on their lips are “tax cuts.”  We’re in a war?  We Need Tax Relief.  We’re in an economic booming period?  More tax cuts.  We’re in a recession?  Tax cuts, tax cuts, tax cuts.

People used to be offended if one was yellow and one was dark brown.

People used to be offended if one was yellow and one was dark brown.

Republicans believe that the best judge for whether you should carry your child is the federal government.  In fact, they believe that your Church should have no say in the matter.  They believe that a marriage between gay people somehow infringe on their rights.  There are going to be gay people that your children are going to be exposed to whether they are allowed to marry or not.  What difference does a certificate matter to you?

4.  Republicans believe that the Second Amendment of the Constitution is the only important one.

Not a peep came from the Republican party when George W. Bush all but suspended the Fourth Amendment with the warrantless wiretapping program.  Hell, even after he left office and we discovered that John Yoo had readied an additional memo that would have limited the First Amendment, there was no significant backlash at the Drudge Report and Red State.

But when anyone says that you probably shouldn’t be able to carry an assault weapon capable of shooting 30 times in 10 seconds, Republicans go apeshit.

Here is my compromise.  You can buy any gun you want.  However, that gun is only allowed to fire three bullets before you reload.  Gun manufacturers must make it so that a reload takes more than thirty seconds.  Military and police guns do not have to follow these regulations.

Many Republicans will say that that inhibits their ability to protect their family in case the government comes to get them.  But that’s idiotic.  The government has nuclear weapons, genius.  If they want a police state, then they’re going to get one.  Until then, three shots is all you get.

3.  Republicans say they reject big government when they are out of power, but balloon government when they are in power.

I don’t know how much longer Republicans will fall for this nonsense.  During the reigns of Reagan, Bush, and W. Bush, government grew on a massive scale.  Hell, George W. Bush added the entire Department of Homeland Security.  Government spending went through the roof with all three GOP presidents.  None of them ever balanced a budget or saw a surplus.


It wasn’t until Bill Clinton balanced the budget late in his second term that many Americans finally realized that “fiscal responsiblity” did not belong on the Republican party platform.  Of course, the minute W took office, he squandared the surplus by adding significant tax cuts for the wealthy.  Most republicans don’t realize that the government has to PAY for tax cuts.  It is a signficant loss in revenue.  I’ll allow you to argue supply-side economic theory when a Republican balances the budget.  Until then, Bill Clinton’s “socialistic” 3% tax hike for wealthy people balanced it just fine.

2.  Republicans have shitty sources.

I don’t give a damn what some politician “believes” about global warming or Evolution.  If I want to hear about global warming, I’ll talk to chemists, geologists, and climatologists.  If I want to hear about Evolution, I’ll talk to a biological anthropologist or primatologist. There is no “big science” lobby.  These people do not get paid anywhere close to the bullshit experts from the oil lobbying firms.  They are scientists whose reputation is contingent upon their adherence to the scientific method.

Many, many scientists would like nothing more than to disprove global warming or Evolution.  They would be instant celebrities in the scientific world and they would be written about in textbooks for centuries.    But that doesn’t happen.

1. The people that vote for Republicans

On April 15, 2009 an estimated 189,000 people across the United States participated in Tax Day Tea Parties.  While simultaneously calling for an increase in defense spending, tea partiers were enraged at the 3% increase in taxes for people who make over a quarter of a million dollars a year.  Only 5% of working families in the United States will see a tax hike.

But don’t tell that to the teabaggers.

Sure, you get freedom of speech.  You just dont get to dictate policy when your guys lost.

Sure, you get freedom of speech. You just don't get to dictate policy when your guys lost.

If you asked them, taxes were through the roof on everything.  Even though the protests were sponsored by Fox News as well as two of the biggest lobbying firms in Washington, the majority of tea-party goers swallowed the kool-aid that this was a grassroots movement.

To be fair, the most vocal people on Fox and CPAC do not represent Republican voters collectively.  After all, the most moderate candidate in the Republican primaries John McCain won the 2008 Presidential nomination.  I suppose the proof of where the party is headed won’t be known until 2012.  If a Jindal, Palin, Romney, or Gingrich is selected, then they’re going in the wrong direction.  But if Jon Huntsman Jr.  is able to secure the nod, we may see a more reasonable, more intelligent Republican party.

All that and I didn’t even mention getting us into crazy wars, justifying torture, and the annual gay sex scandals.

Top Republican defends hedge fund managers by claiming they are small businesses

March 28, 2009

Eric Cantor keeps fucking up.  The Republican minority whip attacked the proposed tax hike for hedge funds from the Obama Administration Friday and his answer started out just fine.  Then it went terribly awry.  Here is the video:

For those who can’t watch the video, here is a transcription:

Reporter: Given your concern about the fiscal and aslo the public’s concern about executive compensation recently, I’m wondering if you will support the President’s proposal to increase the tax on hedge fund managers above the 15% that they currently are taxed on most of their income.

Cantor:  Listen, I haven’t seen his proposal in detail but I can tell you.  Any attempt to put disincentives in place for capital formation is the wrong direction to go in.   We need investors back into the game to create jobs.  This is about small business, really.  The engine for jobs in this country comes from small businesses and entrepreneurs.

This group, the economic working group, had a small business forum last week.  We heard from small business people from around the country.  And the one thing they said right now [is that] times are tough.  And when times are tough it means your customers are not walking through the door as quickly or with as many orders.  And right now they need access to credit and credit lines to get them through the tough times.  If we are going to put disincentives in place for the banking system to function again, we are cutting off the lifeblood of small business.  That’s not the way to go.

Oh damn! He should have stopped sooner.  Instead he goes into some populist bullshit about how it’s really about small businesses.  Really, Cantor?  Do you know what a hedge fund is?  A small businesses gets nothing from a hedge fund unless they happen to be in George Soros’ charity Rolodex.  Hedge funds are speculators that short sell like no one’s business.  They make wagers in the derivatives market and reinvest capital.

Let me make a quick aside to further my point.  George Soros is fucking rich.  Forbes ranked him as the 29th richest person in the world with a net worth of $11 billion.  Soros is a hedge fund manager and a Democrat.  He is currently making a shit ton of money off of the economic crisis.

Do you want to know why?  Because he bet that the housing market would burst.  But all of that betting is just talk and an exchange of money by huge corporations.  One corporation says that they think Person A will be able to pay their subprime mortgage.  George Soros says that Person A won’t be able to pay their subprime mortgage.  Neither institution actually holds the debt for Person A.  They are simply betting on the outcome of the loan.  When the bubble burst, Soros cleaned up with his bets.

Im richer than your entire city.

George Soros is shocked and appalled and enormously wealthy from the economic crisis.

George Soros does have a few people working under him.  But the bets he makes and the bets other hedge fund managers make have no effect on the day to day activities of the average American.  Hedge funds do not loan people money, they do not create a huge number of jobs, and they don’t even allow more than a handful of people into their exclusive clubs.

Eric Cantor is betting that you don’t know all of that.  The second half of his answer is a goddamn joke.

RWP Rating: Unusual

Arizona legislature outsources duties to idiot public

March 24, 2009

The Arizona state legislature is full of Republicans that absolutely refuse to raise taxes.  The state will enjoy a $500 million budget deficit in 2010 and they are shit out of ideas.  Apparently screaming “tax cuts” whenever any financial issue arises, produces less green than a hash dealer with a meth habit.

A Republican sells fertilizer to make up for shortfall.

A Republican sells fertilizer to make up for shortfall.

Rather than entertain the idea of raising any of several taxes, the Republican party in Arizona would rather just pass the buck to the public.  They are now publicly asking for any new ideas from Arizona Residents to cover the 2010 shortfall.

This is the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard.  The people elected these morons because they felt like they fairly represented their district.  In fact, I’d be shocked if half the responses they get aren’t direct links to tubgirl and lemon party.  Another 20% will be marijuana legalization pleas that will almost certainly be laughed right out of any serious political discussion.

When I hire a plumber to fix my john, he sure as shit better not ask for advice on which compound to use when affixing water pipes.

This is petty populist bullshit.  Do the job you were elected to do.

RWP Rating: 3/5 Strange